“It’s difficult to trek a journey with so many bags. You get one backpack to carry on this journey. Discern what goes in the bag and what gets set free.”
I remember the first time I felt so overwhelmed with my woes that I googled “how to let go.” I had been separated from my partner for about 7 months and the time that everyone told me was going to heal my wounds, left them just as open and exposed as when I’d heard him say “I think I need a break.” I simply could not get over it, and quite frankly, I didn’t know-how. I replayed the scenario over and over and over in my mind. I became obsessed with a victim narrative and I couldn’t fathom how anyone could hurt me when I do nothing wrong. I wanted to be able to let go. Let go of the hurt, let go of the obsession, let go of the relationship, and let go of the narrative that I did something to deserve this lesson in pain. But what does letting go actually mean?
From a psychological standpoint:
The idea of letting go directly correlates with attachment, and there is a multitude of layers when it comes to attachment. Generally speaking, attachment is the emotional bond formed with an opposing entity. In this way, letting go is the understanding and control of our emotions in relation to others.
From a Spiritual standpoint:
Life is but a journey. We are all beings of light expanding the consciousness of the universe. Nothing lasts forever, either it ends or you die. Letting go releases attachments to your spiritual body so that you may lead a life full of the vibrant light energy that you are. Letting go creates space for more blissings to enter your life. Letting go is an act of gratitude unto the U-N-Iverse for greatness yet to come.
1. Live in it a little longer.
- Honor your emotions! Acknowledge them as a way to understand them. How you are feeling is valid. When we experience something that triggers a negative emotion we tend to want to do away with it as soon as possible. Some people suppress the emotion to avoid having to deal with it and some people project the emotion onto others. It’s important to take note of how you maneuver through and express your emotions. The best way to do that is to sit in it just a little longer. Don’t hold onto your emotions forever, just long enough to be able to identify what you are feeling, how you are feeling, what this feeling makes you want to do, and if that action or reaction is going to better you or the situation at hand. When you are letting go of anything, always aim to come out with a greater sense of self-awareness on the other side. When you know better, you do differently.
2. Journal/Talk to someone you trust.
- There are so many benefits to journaling. Journaling is a candid conversation with yourself. You can be as real and as honest as you need to be when you are journaling because they are your true thoughts and feelings that no one else is privy to. Journaling serves as emotional catharsis and also serves to track your growth. You can look back at something you’ve journaled about a year ago and see how you have grown and where there is more space for growth. Growth is a sign of life! If you cease to grow, you cease to live. Journal about what you are trying to let go of. Why are you releasing this person or situation? How does release make you feel? What would you like to say or do in this situation? It’s not always easy, in fact, it is harder than not. But it’s always necessary.
- Talk to a friend, a family member, a therapist, support forums, help hotlines, teachers/professors, or anyone that will give you a non-judgemental ear. Talking to others provides stress relief and helps you begin to break your thoughts down into smaller fractions. It stops you from feeling overwhelmed. As you begin to verbalize how you feel to someone else, you go through your thoughts and reiterate them in a way that encourages understanding from others. In this way, you also encourage understanding within yourself. Verbalization brings our thoughts and feelings into tangible reality and gives us an identifiable guide to address them with.
3. Meditation and release affirmations.
- Ahh sweet sweet meditation. Meditation is the best, most viable, and easiest way to bring about self-awareness. Meditation teaches us awareness of our mind’s thought processes and forms. When trying to let go of something or someone, meditation will make you aware of how you are thinking about the situation. What narratives are you feeding yourself? Are you feeling positive about the situation? Do you feel encouraged about letting this go? If not then try meditation with affirmations. You can play affirmation videos from youtube in the background of your meditation or you can repeat guided affirmations out loud or in your mind.
- “I am safe and supported by the Universe.”
- “I give myself permission to be free.”
- “I gently release my need for control.”
- “I give up the need to be right, and focus on the need to be kind and aware.”
- “As I relax my body, the positive energy of the Universe can reach me,”
These are just a few of my favorite release affirmations. I always say and will stand by this fact: meditation is a practice not perfection! As long as you are trying, you are doing it correctly!
4. Take accountability.
- Hindsight is 20/20. Build an ability to be able to reflect on your actions and emotions without judgment. No need to berate yourself or obsess over what you could have said or done. Everything happened as it was meant to happen. Taking accountability doesn’t incur blame. Blame is a low-frequency emotion that comes up when you have a misaligned root chakra. There is never blame, especially when two entities are involved. Accountability means accepting the truth of another as the truth for them, regardless of your intention. Taking accountability can be hard when you are obsessed with being right or wrong. But when you shift your focus into awareness and unawareness, taking accountability becomes a lot easier. You’ll begin to realize we are not victims of our reality. Things happen. Misunderstandings come a dime a dozen. Confrontation does not have to be problematic and should be approached with a conflict-RESOLUTION mindset. In reflection, you take accountability for your actions, and how they manifested a certain outcome if you could have acted or reacted differently. Identify where there is space to grow, and then release it all unto the Universe.
5. Say Thankh you.
- Acceptance- is perhaps the most important step in letting go. Acceptance of how things were, acceptance of how things came about, acceptance of how things are. Acceptance of change. Acceptance of growth. Letting go becomes difficult when we reel over all of the “if’s” “and’s” or “but’s.” Sensationalizing scenarios that quite literally don’t exist. Every soul has come to Earth on a personal ascension journey. A journey towards higher consciousness. Our interactions with each other are us taking a moment in time, out of our personal ascension journeys, to assist one another. That’s why it always feels so pleasing to give and give back. Ultimately we should be thankhing each other for the help! Regardless of how it’s transpiring made you feel. Feelings are fickle, enlightenment is forever. Thankh them for the blessing in the lesson, and set it free. Gratitude is the highest vibration.
Inevitably time and space will help, but it is what you do within that time and space that will gauge how you heal. You could spend your time in agonizing rumination- being fixated, not forgiving yourself or others, denial and grudge-holding. You can allow yourself to become hardened through your experiences, existing in a state of anger, in a state of expecting and welcoming disappointment, generalized blame, and over-compensation. These kinds of thought processes encourage harboring rather than letting go. Just because it’s been some time since an occurrence, doesn’t mean you’ve let it go. But with the few steps detailed above and integration of other values such as exercise, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone to new experiences, being optimistic about the future as opposed to pessimistic, and pursuing creative outlets for your emotions, you will find that letting go of people, places and/or things that no longer serve you will become easier. You may even look forward to the light-heartedness that detachment brings.
